| Laughter is the best medicine! |
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is
the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.
The child thought about this for a moment then said, "So why is the groom wearing
black?"
___________________________________________________________
A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to
be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!
Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!"
While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes
dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again!
As she ran she once again began to pray,
"Dear Lord, please don't let me be late ... but please don't shove me either!"
___________________________________________________________
Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says,
"My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem,
and they give him $50."
The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of paper,
he calls it a song, and they give him $100."
The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of
paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"
___________________________________________________________
An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male
pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote,
"They wouldn't take me out while I was alive; I don't want them to take me out when
I'm dead."
___________________________________________________________
A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest
your own mother?" He answered, "Call for backup."
___________________________________________________________
A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to
Jerusalem. A small child replied, "They couldn't get a baby-sitter."
___________________________________________________________
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six
year olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'Honor thy father and thy mother,' she asked,
"Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."
___________________________________________________________
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human
beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was
created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she said,
"Johnny, what is the matter?"
Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."
___________________________________________________________
You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing!
Take heed
the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.
The child thought about this for a moment then said, "So why is the groom wearing
black?"
___________________________________________________________
A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to
be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!
Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!"
While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes
dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again!
As she ran she once again began to pray,
"Dear Lord, please don't let me be late ... but please don't shove me either!"
___________________________________________________________
Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says,
"My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem,
and they give him $50."
The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of paper,
he calls it a song, and they give him $100."
The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of
paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"
___________________________________________________________
An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male
pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote,
"They wouldn't take me out while I was alive; I don't want them to take me out when
I'm dead."
___________________________________________________________
A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest
your own mother?" He answered, "Call for backup."
___________________________________________________________
A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to
Jerusalem. A small child replied, "They couldn't get a baby-sitter."
___________________________________________________________
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six
year olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'Honor thy father and thy mother,' she asked,
"Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."
___________________________________________________________
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human
beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was
created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she said,
"Johnny, what is the matter?"
Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."
___________________________________________________________
You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing!
Take heed
Redeemer Lutheran Church
| 37 Newton-Sparta Rd Newton, NJ 07860 Map & Directions Phone: 973-383-3945 Fax: 973-383-3954 Email: greatgod@earthlink.net |
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Verse of the Day
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